20 Symptoms of Adulthood

Three years ago, shortly after having my first child, I noticed a shift. I noticed that being in a quiet room (waiting room, bathroom, hell, an operating room) felt so peaceful. I noticed that sitting down and reading a book was way more exciting than going to a bar. But what the hell was happening?

Over time, the diagnosis became clear. It was adulthood and it’d hit me like a ton of bricks. For many of us, there comes a time when fun takes on a whole new meaning. Maybe yours was sparked by a demanding career, the exhaustion of parenthood, the rollercoaster of marriage, or just general challenges that come with age. Either way, if you’ve been feeling a little off, I’ve compiled this list of symptoms that might help clarify whether or not you’re suffering from a case of adulthood:

  1. Wanting to host a small group of friends at your home (dinner party, book club, anything where the music doesn’t drown out the conversation)
  2. Considering tapas to be a wild adventure
  3. You’ve set a goal to make friends with more people that work in your industry
  4. Preferring gift cards, especially to home good stores
  5. You bought a home desk
  6. You need a vanity (bonus points if you DIY’d a vanity)
  7. You’re saving up to buy high-end investment pieces
  8. Kitchen appliances and cooking tools excite you
  9. You’ve swapped bar hopping for structured activities (think: kickball league)
  10. You bring your own cups to meetings or outings – insulated cups, aluminum tumblers, travel mugs
  11. You bought or are shopping around for a good book on how to pair wines
  12. You’ve begun investing in storage solutions (God bless Ikea)
  13. Your wine rack is always stocked (ya know, in case that dinner party opportunity pops off)
  14. You keep backups. You stockpile all of your necessities because gone are the days of having to fight through traffic for another trip to the store this week
  15. You have a signature drink (it could also be a craft coffee )
  16. You’ve invested in quality pots and pans
  17. You own a variety of cleaning appliances – air purifier (for your allergies), robovaccums (because you don’t have time to sweep), steam cleaners (because…deep cleaning), etc.
  18. Couponing
  19. Regularly checking on your 401k, investment portfolio, and credit score
  20. You have an emergency stash – for new tires or having to quit your job

Bonus: you have an ongoing patio, bathroom, or backyard project. Nothing says ‘adult’ quite like home renovation projects.

If you’re experiencing at least 5 of the above symptoms, I recommend heading to your local Whole Foods for bone and joint multivitamins. Your time has come. Welcome to adulthood.

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