Three years ago, shortly after having my first child, I noticed a shift. I noticed that being in a quiet room (waiting room, bathroom, hell, an operating room) felt so peaceful. I noticed that sitting down and reading a book was way more exciting than going to a bar. But what the hell was happening?
Over time, the diagnosis became clear. It was adulthood and it’d hit me like a ton of bricks. For many of us, there comes a time when fun takes on a whole new meaning. Maybe yours was sparked by a demanding career, the exhaustion of parenthood, the rollercoaster of marriage, or just general challenges that come with age. Either way, if you’ve been feeling a little off, I’ve compiled this list of symptoms that might help clarify whether or not you’re suffering from a case of adulthood:
- Wanting to host a small group of friends at your home (dinner party, book club, anything where the music doesn’t drown out the conversation)
- Considering tapas to be a wild adventure
- You’ve set a goal to make friends with more people that work in your industry
- Preferring gift cards, especially to home good stores
- You bought a home desk
- You need a vanity (bonus points if you DIY’d a vanity)
- You’re saving up to buy high-end investment pieces
- Kitchen appliances and cooking tools excite you
- You’ve swapped bar hopping for structured activities (think: kickball league)
- You bring your own cups to meetings or outings – insulated cups, aluminum tumblers, travel mugs
- You bought or are shopping around for a good book on how to pair wines
- You’ve begun investing in storage solutions (God bless Ikea)
- Your wine rack is always stocked (ya know, in case that dinner party opportunity pops off)
- You keep backups. You stockpile all of your necessities because gone are the days of having to fight through traffic for another trip to the store this week
- You have a signature drink (it could also be a craft coffee )
- You’ve invested in quality pots and pans
- You own a variety of cleaning appliances – air purifier (for your allergies), robovaccums (because you don’t have time to sweep), steam cleaners (because…deep cleaning), etc.
- Couponing
- Regularly checking on your 401k, investment portfolio, and credit score
- You have an emergency stash – for new tires or having to quit your job
Bonus: you have an ongoing patio, bathroom, or backyard project. Nothing says ‘adult’ quite like home renovation projects.
If you’re experiencing at least 5 of the above symptoms, I recommend heading to your local Whole Foods for bone and joint multivitamins. Your time has come. Welcome to adulthood.